Pacing is so hard. I only know too well. I spent my  first 5  years with CFS  driving myself beyond even what a healthy person would.  I was in complete  denial and thought the more I forced myself that it would go away. Of course, it just became worse and worse and make my CFS chronic and severely ingrained.   

Since then I struggle heavily with trying to pace myself. I just can’t seem to do it. I get really, really overexcited when I’m stimulated in any way, like listening to good, upbeat music, etc.  In company I  I get so overexcited I wear myself right out and  crash for days and am tired for weeks after. Overactive sympathetic nervous system they say. Kinda a constant  fight or flight thing. Neurons firing in a frenzy.

So for me to pace myself I need a very calm, routine, almost hermit like life so that my energy can  stabilize. Once my CFS become stable (my baseline) I can then work on slowly building myself up.

Too bad I have to choose between having a life, going out, visiting, and just having fun, or a quite, lonely, but paced life, where I don’t constantly crash. I swing between these two poles all the time.

I really have to master the pacing strategy before its too late, before I get worse and worse. I find I’m getting worse as I get older. I am becoming weaker, have no endurance, and need to sleep/rest more and more, after doing less and less.

I guess this means I’ll have to lean far to the more lonely side of life for maybe a year.  And also learn to better control and calm my nervous system through meditation, mindfulness etc., which I take classes for.  Then I can slowly start exposing myself to, and hopefully withstanding, more outside stimulation without it making me crash. Wow. This is a huge long post. Sorry.  Hope it makes sense.


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