Pacing is so hard. I only know too well. I spent my first 5 years with CFS driving myself beyond even what a healthy person would. I was in complete denial and thought the more I forced myself that it would go away. Of course, it just became worse and worse and make my CFS chronic and severely ingrained.
Since then I struggle heavily with trying to pace myself. I just can’t seem to do it. I get really, really overexcited when I’m stimulated in any way, like listening to good, upbeat music, etc. In company I I get so overexcited I wear myself right out and crash for days and am tired for weeks after. Overactive sympathetic nervous system they say. Kinda a constant fight or flight thing. Neurons firing in a frenzy.
So for me to pace myself I need a very calm, routine, almost hermit like life so that my energy can stabilize. Once my CFS become stable (my baseline) I can then work on slowly building myself up.
Too bad I have to choose between having a life, going out, visiting, and just having fun, or a quite, lonely, but paced life, where I don’t constantly crash. I swing between these two poles all the time.
I really have to master the pacing strategy before its too late, before I get worse and worse. I find I’m getting worse as I get older. I am becoming weaker, have no endurance, and need to sleep/rest more and more, after doing less and less.
I guess this means I’ll have to lean far to the more lonely side of life for maybe a year. And also learn to better control and calm my nervous system through meditation, mindfulness etc., which I take classes for. Then I can slowly start exposing myself to, and hopefully withstanding, more outside stimulation without it making me crash. Wow. This is a huge long post. Sorry. Hope it makes sense.