TRUCE?

Getting mad, frustrated, anxious. My CFS has been in a slump for ages. My significant other says I’m losing the battle against fatigue, but I don’t like to think of it as a battle but more of a cold war. I’m just trying to establish some neutral ground and call a truce.

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10 comments on “TRUCE?

  1. PinkieB says:

    The best way to defeat fatigue is with copious unapologetic napping.

    • desdemonad says:

      Sounds good to me! I sleep about 56% of my life already, I have a sleep app that I use to keep track. Normal people sleep 30% of the time, so I’m almost double that. Sad, but that’s my needs.

      • PinkieB says:

        I also used to sleep that much. It was incredibly distressing and people looked at me like I was lazy or like it was my fault, but if I slept less I wasn’t functional and I had more depressive relapses. Over time as my life situation has improved I’ve come to need less, though it’s still loads more than most people.

      • desdemonad says:

        I’m very glad you can get by with less sleep now, I always feel guilty, depressed, and yes, lazy, because I sleep so much. I feel others think I’m lazy and just feel upset by my limitations all the time. I’m trying to just think about the stuff I can do, like eg took a shower and took the dog for a walk, but I never feel I can do or he enough for everyone I want to please. Part of my problem…..a perfectionist people pleaser * sigh*

      • PinkieB says:

        Yeah, that’s me, too. My therapist and I have worked really hard on the perfectionism. That’s probably the hardest one to kick because every one around you keeps saying that it’s a good thing, but actually it’s killing you.

      • desdemonad says:

        Ha, well, my psychiatrist and I have been working on that over 10 years, the people pleasing, the self loathing and guilt triggered by feeling less than perfect, not able to work etc.and feeling less than everyone else because of my illnesses…hate it so much when people ask me ‘so what do you do?’ that sometimes I just say something like, I work in a factory etc. But wheb I say,’nothing, I’m sick’, they look at me like I’m a loser,so that’s how I feel. Well, its a journey, I’m better now than I was.

      • PinkieB says:

        I just finished reading this book that says that the “sick” people of our world aren’t really sick, they are rejecting on a physical level the story of separation, conflict and misery that the Powers That Be would have us believe. It made my years of fighting with depression seem almost romantic, beautiful, even.

      • desdemonad says:

        Hmmm, interesting theory, instead of organ rejection we have ‘life as we know it today’ rejection, which is actually very understandable.

  2. Pinkie B says:

    I couldn’t believe how strongly the idea resonated with me. When I finally finished reading it I just laid on the floor of my living room and cried inexplicably for several minutes.

    This is the book: charleseisenstein.net/project/the-more-beautiful-world-our-hearts-know-is-possible/

    It’s terribly written, but the message is pretty amazing. If the writing style annoys you, I suggest reading the introduction and last chapter only. If you like it, you can go for the whole gig. But in any case, I recommend it because it makes you feel like everything you’ve been thinking, feeling, struggling with, is all ok and in fact even good.

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