BPD Getting Out of Hand


My BPD seems to have gotten out of hand recently.  I felt it coming on, as I get more reckless.  I’m self soothing more with cigs and food, but I also drank for the first time in a long while, not so smart considering all the meds I am on.  I only had 5 shots, but still, it was just that I had the urge to drink/get drunk in the first place, which usually doesn’t happen to me unless my borderline is coming out.  I don’t know if this has been triggered by a recent addition to my meds of Abilify, a fight I had with my boyfriend last week, being sleep deprived,  or by reading too many BPD blogs and getting ‘triggered’.  I think I’ll lay off reading Borderline blogs for awhile, see my shrink about my medicine and try to get back on old familiar terms with my boyfriend.  Meanwhile, I am also having a strong urge to hurt myself, I burned myself with a cigarette while in the tub 4 times, and I’m having a lot of suicidal idealization.  I see my shrink on Thurs., hope she can help…if there is help for us Borders.

It hurts Inside

It hurts Inside

2 comments on “BPD Getting Out of Hand

  1. juan letona says:

    Please, you don t use abilify, is a bad medicine, like a poison, the problem is akatisia.

  2. desdemond says:

    Nope, going off it now after calling my shrink in desperation. Going to see her tomorrow to discuss what else can be tried.

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