WARNING: POTENTIAL BPD TRIGGERS
My BPD seems to have gotten out of hand recently. I felt it coming on, as I get more reckless. I’m self soothing more with cigs and food, but I also drank for the first time in a long while, not so smart considering all the meds I am on. I only had 5 shots, but still, it was just that I had the urge to drink/get drunk in the first place, which usually doesn’t happen to me unless my borderline is coming out. I don’t know if this has been triggered by a recent addition to my meds of Abilify, a fight I had with my boyfriend last week, being sleep deprived, or by reading too many BPD blogs and getting ‘triggered’. I think I’ll lay off reading Borderline blogs for awhile, see my shrink about my medicine and try to get back on old familiar terms with my boyfriend. Meanwhile, I am also having a strong urge to hurt myself, I burned myself with a cigarette while in the tub 4 times, and I’m having a lot of suicidal idealization. I see my shrink on Thurs., hope she can help…if there is help for us Borders.