Me, myself, my illness

Hi,  I thought I should do a post about how I got this illness and some things that have happened since.  My name is Dee, I am 45 years old, living in the Maritimes. I developed CFS in 1994 after working all one summer spraying pesticides and working on pesticide sprayed fields. I was a very active 27 year old, did karate, swam, hiked, camped, horseback riding, played basket ball etc. By the end of the summer job though I had become completely disabled. I had gone down hill over the summer but totally collapsed by late Aug. I had several bouts of pesticide poisoning that summer, as well as heat stroke, and I’ve always had a weak immune system, so basically it just did me in.

My CFS runs the gauntlet from moderate to severe.  Right now I’m in a relapse. I haven’t been able to work for a long time. When I first got sick I pushed myself for 5 years, trying to still do all I used to. I tried to do my Masters but had to drop out, I tried to work and I tried to travel. I tried keeping up with my friends, and I didn’t tell anyone I was sick. I was ashamed.

I finally had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital for a month. They put me on antidepressants, but did nothing to help me with my illness. It wasn’t until I had a second breakdown in 1999 that help came. I had found a wonderful Dr. and she sent me to the Woman’s College Hospital in Toronto where they have a chronic illness/environmental clinic. These people were wonderful. They diagnosed me with CFS and multiple chemical sensitivity, brought on by pesticide poisoning. They then referred me to a wonderful psychiatrist who specialized in psychotherapy and had other clients with cfs, fibro, etc. I saw him every week and he always made everything better.  He kept me grounded and helped me cope with my everyday problems and frustrations.

They also referred me to an environmental specialist who dosed me with nutrient IV’s, glutathione, put me on home oxygen (didn’t help), and a whole slew of other stuff. I’m going to write an entry soon on everything I have tried, and what I’m doing (on) now. Keep an eye out for it.

Then I moved and lost all my support lines.  I moved to be closer to my family, I really missed them and wanted to be near my aging father. I was hoping I could find the same supports here in the Maritimes as in Ontario.  But It’s not so easy here. My family and my boyfriend are now my support and they’re great, but unfortunately my Dr. is not great and I really need more help.

Fortunately, after a mental meltdown at my Dr.’s  I am now going to be referred to a social worker for someone to vent too, and a well-known, reputable environmental clinic, which I’m really hoping can help me. So that’s my story, or some of it, except the fact that I am owned by two ferrets who brighten my everyday, and a sweet, caring boyfriend who I found after being alone 10 years. Thanks, hugs to all, and all my best wishes, Dee

“I y’am what I y’am and that’s all that I am” – Popeye
“Que serai, serai”

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2 comments on “Me, myself, my illness

  1. ABE says:

    I have CFS – and a shy chinchilla – and the blog you stopped by today. Welcome – if this is your first blogging adventure.

    Gizzy was never abused – I think the lowest circles in H*ll will hold those people who abuse the helpless. Makes your blood boil. I would be thrilled if Gizzy ‘spoke’ – they don’t make many noises – but she WILL sit on my shoulder and let me pet her – while she gets her daily treats.

    Oh, and I love Tigger too – I think he taught my kids to speak.

    • desdemond says:

      How good are chinchillas as pets?? Kinda like a guinea pig or more like a cat?? Are they all shy> Hope you are well, come check out my latest blog entry if you feel like it. Thanks, Dee

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